2005Apr | May

New Pope not that bad
# April 30, 2005 | by brett
Seven years ago I met the new pope in Baltimore, I told the then Cardinal Ratzinger that I found his stance on theology to be a respectable one, he turned around, sneered angrily and punched me hard in the face. Now, I'm not a religious man, but I dont think its right to just go around punching young people in the face. Despite this, I think this site gives Pope Benedict XVI a bad name. How can you judge someone who has just taken office?

After he punched me, I was laying on the ground, and I asked him why. He spat in my face, and left along with the other cardinals who were there that day. Luckily, I had my wits about, and I took note of the license plate number of the taxi they drove off in. Several days later I called the police and told them about the incident with great specificity. He never returned to Baltimore and I think my actions were thusly justified.

This site has chosen to preemptively declare this Pope to be a bad one, and I think this cannot be justified by any available evidence. Pope Benedict XVI epitomizes the word Pope. Kudos to those who voted for him, you have made a wise choice.

Newly elected pope nothing but a hate-mongering RAT
# April 29, 2005 | by horatio
As a member of the Hispanic community I am obviously Catholic, but if you assumed I was Catholic merely because I am Hispanic then you are racist, plain and simple. I am also a gay man. But if you assumed that because I am a Hispanic that I am also gay, then you are a racist homophobe.

I sat for days eagerly awaiting the announcement of a pope whom I smugly and confidently assumed would be the most ardent supporter of gay rights in the world. Instead I was left with nothing but a smelly rat: el nastyo, if you will. A recent article by Paul Schindler describes this rat’s understanding of homosexuality. The poop as I will call him, wrote that, “Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.” Sister Jeannine Gramick summed this poop up best when she declared, “I think Jesus is very disappointed.” Right on sister! Jesus is disappointed and so is Horatio Salazar.

News article exposes liberal papal pap
# April 29, 2005 | by eric
I didn't have time to confirm the accuracy of this article, but it is imperative that I share it with you, so that you can see the evils of this new "Pope." He is trying to start a "focus group" to determine the positions of the church. We're turning away from time-honored traditions, in favor of neo-liberal, hyper-facist left wing media conspiracy propagandist policies. I'm not surprised. Really, this man could ordain Michael Moore, and I wouldn't be shocked at all. Sheesh! Here's a bit of what I'm talking about:
For his part, Pope Benedict has said that he opposes abortion, birth control, euthanasia, priests marrying and the ordination of women. He has also decried homosexuality and called rock music "the vehicle of anti-religion." But he admitted he said all that before he got a chance to study the latest focus group results.

"I realize that American Catholics are a demanding constituency," the new pontiff said this week. "I'll be sure to listen to their concerns closely, and who knows? There might be some wiggle room in the whole homosexuals/birth control/rock music thing."
Like I said, I haven't had the chance to read the whole article, but you can read it for yourself.

pope better put those crack heads in jail
# April 29, 2005 | by wanda
my name is wanda jackson and i live in lawrenceville. all day i look outside my window and i see these gangsters and little perverts selling crack cocaine on my street. Those neighborhood crackheads keep messing up my flowers and breaking my screen door. They get all drugged up and walk over my flowers and i have to go out the next day a rip them out and plant new ones. Im sick and tired of what they're doing to the neighborhood. I was talking to trisha, and she says that the new pope was a nazi. The good Lord says i shouldn't judge, i just want him to clean up this neighborhood so i wont be afraid to walk to my knitting club meetings every thursday.

Ratzinger a harbinger of the end of time
# April 28, 2005 | by eric
The Last Trumpet Newletter wrote a very true and sensible look at how Ratzi relates to the end of days. Here's a little preview:
"The name Ratzinger also began to intrigue me. I had studied the German language for eight semesters while in school and was nominated by my instructor to receive the gold medal for German language studies. I did a search of dictionaries and Catholic resources such as the Independent Catholic News (2), and I found that the true and original spelling for Ratzinger is not with the letter “Z” but with the letter “S”. (1) Thus, the true way to spell his name is Ratsinger. When we apply the alpha-numeric code of A=6, B=12, C=18 and so on, we find that the name Ratsinger adds up as follows: R=108, A=6, T=120, S=114, I=54, N=84, G=42, E=30, R=108 for a total of 666."

What further proof do you need people? It is obvious that this man is the anti-Christ. I know this because when you change the letters in his name and then randomly assign values to them you can add the numbers up to 666, which I know is the number of the devil. He even looks evil. You can't argue with facts like that.

In other news, it looks like Ratty has cooked up a seal. You can check it out if you'd like. I'd just skip it if I were you. I mean, why should we even consider looking at his seal, everything he does is so terrible.

I'm moving to Anglican.

No Time For Pope Wishy-Washy
# April 26, 2005 | by Karl-Joseph
First of all, God rest the soul of Karol Wojtyla (aka Pope John Paul II). He was a good man, and his presence will surely be missed. GLORY TO GOD. But think of the opportunity his death created in our beloved Roman Catholic Church that is now being wasted, squandered, and flat out ignored by Ratzinger! The College of Cardinals had a chance to elect a REAL leader, one who is unafraid to reverse Wojtyla's uber-liberal agenda; instead we get Pope Blowsmoke. In my mind, there isn't a worse person the College could have picked, except maybe Elton John! Who knows, maybe he's next in line behind Ratty.

Sure, Ratzinger's had the guts to stand up for the Church's divine glory over other deficient religions. And bring problems like evil homosexuals to the forefront, but where's the ACTION? That's right: no where. Ratzinger's been the Pope for a week already and has been dragging his feet in effecting his God-given mission. In fact, this "Pope's" actions are showing the exact opposite of what he says he'll be doing. In fact, just recently, Benny tried to water down the Church by reaching out to "Muslim" "Clerics" (link). What a joke!

It's absolutely imperative that Christ's light shine into every corner of the earth NOW, illuminating all darkness and leaving the filthy rats of infidelity nowhere to hide. The Catholic Church is the absolute spiritual authority, Joey. You've said so yourself. When does it begin? Catholics everywhere are waiting. Your move... Pope.

Pope has an email address
# April 24, 2005 | by eric
Well, I for one am not surprised. The first thing Benny is doing as soon as he declares himself pope is to sign up for a fancy new email address. This is what we call a "conservative" these days? HOGWASH. The conservatives I know are rich old white men who are afraid of change. Where is his fear of technology? Nowhere. We all know that Ratzinger is just a flip-flopper.

Go ahead and check it out for yourself. Or maybe you'd like to actually send him an email and let him know how much you disapprove of this widespread perversion and liberalization of our churhc. Go ahead and do that right here: benedictxvi@vatican.va. I'm sure he'll check his email more often than he'll say mass.